ROSE – « Jigéén dafa wara ànd ak dallu ak teey » (A woman should be poised)

SEYNABOU: Do you think it’s possible to love two people at the same time?

ROSE: Maybe. I don’t know.

SEYNABOU: It’s just – he’s told me so many things. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

ROSE: Well, you have to trust your instincts.

SEYNABOU: I love him so much but I don’t trust him. He’s always going back on his word.

ROSE: Let me ask you this: when did you find out he was married?

SEYNABOU: On our first date.

ROSE: And that didn’t deter you from starting a relationship with him?

SEYNABOU: No because in this day and age, we all want to get married. I didn’t see it as a problem. And I honestly liked that he was so up front about it. I didn’t even ask him; he told me voluntarily.

ROSE: And what was it that kept you seated and throughout the date – throughout the relationship?

SEYNABOU: He knows all the right things to say. Even after he pisses me off and I lose all hope, he comes back with the most grandiose promises and I fall right back into his arms.

ROSE: That sounds familiar. We’ve all been there.

SEYNABOU: What do you think I should do?

ROSE: I can’t answer that for you because I don’t know how you feel about him, truly. Only you know that. But I will advise you to be as selfish as he is being. See, my situation is a little different. I have a family and kids to look after and give a good example to. I can’t make decisions just about me.

SEYNABOU: I think that’s how you’re able to stay so dallu ak teey (composed and poised). You have something to live for. I feel like Laye is my only reason to live sometimes. I don’t have a mother and I don’t have a father. I feel alone and he fills that void. So no matter how bad it is, it feels like it’s better than being alone.

ROSE: I can understand how you can feel that way. But take a step back and think about your life before you knew him. What were your ambitions and what were you living for back then? You can’t lose yourself in this search for romance and love. Take it from me, after 10 years of marriage, I can tell you love is just one element in this whole thing. Respect is just as important. Ask yourself if you’re being respected.

SEYNABOU: You’re right. But it’s easier said than done. I love him.

ROSE: Listen, I can only have this conversation so many times. I say it because I care – you have to make a mental health decision at some point. Do you want to be stay on this roller coaster of love with its impulsive ups and downs or do you want to see what other possibilities there are. It’s not a simple decision but you have to be honest with yourself.

SEYNABOU: How do you manage with life’s struggles? I’m sure you’ve been in my shoes before.

ROSE: I don’t have it together, as some may think. I cry a lot. I I lose hope sometimes. I question myself and wonder why I didn’t go down a different path or make a decision that benefited me every now and then. But then I realize it’s all temporary. Life is temporary and nothing is worth going into a steep depression in my opinion, especially when I have little ones depending on me each day. I have no choice but to keep going.

SEYNABOU: You know, you’re giving me a lot of advice but it seems you have a lot to unpack yourself.

ROSE: I don’t deny it. But I haven’t found the time honestly.

SEYNABOU: Then you can’t make it sound so simple for me to make a decision either. Maybe I haven’t found the time either.

ROSE: You’re right. But quoi faire ?

SEYNABOU: It’s complicated. I wish I knew the answers we needed.

ROSE: I agree.

SEYNABOU: shit, what time is it!? We’ve been talking for so long.

ROSE: It’s 18H30.

SEYNABOU: Laye will be home any minute! I need to finish making dinner.

ROSE: I’ll leave you to it. You know, it never gets easier stepping aside to let you have your two days with him.

SEYNABOU: I guess we’re in the same boat. I cry every night he’s in your room.

ROSE: Do you think he ever cries?

SEYNABOU: Only when both of us as menstruating at the same time! Haha!

ROSE: Sad but you’re probably right. What exactly are we doing here?

SEYNABOU: You tell me when you’ve figured it out. In the meantime, I’ll finish my dinner and consider therapy to deal with my dependencies on a man who can’t give me 100% of him.

ROSE: At least you had a choice from the beginning…

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